Am I growing up?

I dunno where I am gonna start or what I am gonna write here…

Was going thru the posts in CHN INK, hearing some gud Tamil songs that I got shared from a gud friend of mine in B’lore DC. Am not s’psd to keep songs in my comp, am in “secured area” … No songs, no images, nothing… & now, I hear that they are gonna take away the permission for us to access outside sites also… Hows that…

Life has changed so much for me after joinin Infy, that was on the 11^th of July, 2005. I attended a 10 day trainin in Mysore & then got posted here. I hear that they have stopped batch breaking, may be they have realized that productivity is much less for us who have not undergone our training… hmmm…. That mite be true, they know better…

So, I was sayin abt the changes that hpnd to my life… in some aspects, its for the gud…

Most important, I have started cooking! J getting up by 6:30 (thanx to the early timings now, otherwise, I cld ve slept til 6:55) my amma is so happy to hear that, even I am surprised!!!

I have learnt to manage money, am getting quite a bit, an equal amount that my amma is making after struggling hard in a bank for more than 25 yrs! My amma always says, she started off wit a salary of 200 bucks!!! Hmmm… am getting to spend quite more than that in a week… yes, my first & second sal went frm my hand like this… but now, am a bit more controlled...

I have understood the “corporate life” or at least am starting to understand it… I am trying to convince myself that I am no more a kid, tho my parents & my whole family treat me as one, even my friends… that I am s’psd to behave like a professional (tho I have not understood wat that means yet or if I am behaving as one)… that I have several responsibilities… that life is no more an easy thing…

Really, thinking of that, I just want to go back to my comfortable clge life… where I cld do nethin that came to my mind, without caring for nethin. Cld disobey my parents, my teachers, stil be sure that they ll always be there for me… my friends, my greatest possessions, who wld be always there with me… everything has changed… every single thing.

& now when I think of what will happen in the future… more & more responsibilities are comin in… am never gonna get bac the times I enjoyed the most… is it cos of that, that I feel I wanna study more or is it really cos I have an urge to do sumthin different… I don’t understand…

How can I understand what I want?